第144章 亲密关系

The Lifelong Power of Close Relationships

亲密关系的终生力量

By Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz

For 85 years (and counting)， the Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked an original group of 724 men and more than 1，300 of their male and female descendants over three generations， asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to?nd out what really keeps people healthy and happy.

85年来（这一数字还在不断增加），“哈佛大学成人发展研究项目”（Harvard Study of Adult Development）追踪了原始实验小组中的724名男性及其1300多名后代（其中男女均有，且横跨三代人）。期间，研究人员向他们提出过数千个问题，进行过数百次测试评估，只为找到人们保持健康与获得快乐的真正原因。

Through all the years of studying these lives， one crucial factor stands out for the consistency and power of its ties to physical health， mental health and longevity: good relationships.

在对这些人的生活持续多年的研究中，有一个关键因素脱颖而出，表现出它与身体健康、心理健康以及长寿之间具有紧密且稳定的关联，那便是良好的情感关系。

In 2008， we telephoned the wives and husbands of Harvard Study couples in their 80s every night for eight nights. We spoke to each partner separately and asked them a series of questions about their days. On days when these men and women spent more time in the pany of others， they were happier.

2008年，我们曾连续八晚，每晚给哈佛研究项目中年过八旬的受试者打电话，同他们及其配偶聊天。我们会与夫妻双方单独通话，问他们一系列关于日常生活的问题。结果显示，在这群人与其他人相处时间更久的那些日子，他们的幸福感也会更高。

Like most older people， those in the Harvard Study experienced day-to-day?uctuations in their levels of physical pain and health di?culties. But we found that the people who were in more satisfying relationships were bu?ered somewhat from these ups and downs of mood—their happiness did not decline as much on the days when they had more pain. Their happy marriages seemed to have a protective e?ect.

和大多数老年人一样，参与哈佛研究的老年人平时也会遇到大大小小的身体疼痛及健康问题。但我们发现，能够从自己的情感关系中获得更多满足感的人，就能从这些情绪起伏中获得某种程度的缓冲——在疼痛加剧的那几天，他们的幸福感并不会减弱太多。他们幸福的婚姻生活，似乎起到了某种保护作用。

Today we live in much more plicated environments， so meeting our social needs presents di?erent challenges. We might be sitting on a gold mine of vitality that we are not paying attention to， because it is eclipsed by the shiny allure of smartphones or pushed to the side by work demands.

如今，我们生活的环境要复杂得多，这也对满足我们的社交需求带来了不同挑战。我们或许正坐拥着一座“活力金矿”，但却视若无睹，因为要么是闪闪发亮的智能手机诱惑着我们，掩盖了它的光芒，要么是面对各种工作需求，它唯有退居其次。